The Part of Graduation No One Talks About

I’m graduating soon, and I know I should be happy… okay I’m actually so happy…but at the same time, I feel overwhelmed, confused, and a little bit scared.

It’s funny because I used to see people express this exact feeling, about not knowing what to do after graduation and I’d roll my eyes and think; This is so dumb. If I were in your shoes, I won’t think twice! I just want to leave this school ASAP!😭

While that is still very true ( in fact I think about the day I finally get to leave EVERY! SINGLE! DAY!) I can’t help myself from feeling scared and kinda overwhelmed also.

With three months left until graduation, I understand completely.

If everything goes according to plan, I'll finish my academic requirements by the first or second week of September, then wait for graduation and induction in October. By January next year, I should be starting my career journey. But as that timeline becomes more real, I find myself getting scared of it.

First, there's the internship situation. In nursing (Nigeria), after your induction, you're required to do one year internship program before going for your NYSC and the starting your professional career. NMCN has decided to be mad, to the point that if you don’t secure an internship, you will remain where you are. It doesn’t matter if you don’t find a placement after 6 years of graduating, you can’t continue. If you don’t get a placement, you can’t go for NYSC. If you don’t go for NYSC you can’t work as a professional nurse in any hospital ( aside for private hospitals and we all know how that would turn out). In short the internship is the starting point of your career and if you do not start, there’s no going forward.

Honestly, I’m not so scared of the internship. I don’t want to make mouth, but I have this feeling that I won’t struggle to get a placement. I can just feel it 😭Let’s not talk about that too much so I don’t disappoint myself.

What terrifies me is the thought that my life will revolve around work. For someone who has made being a student their entire personality since entering school, this shift feels scary.

My life literally revolves around academics. I have very little social life outside school, and all my current friends are university friends. And now? We’re all graduating. And we’re going home — but not the same home. Everyone’s from a different state. We’ve all seen Shege being away from family in this town, so naturally, we’ve all planned to do our internships somewhere close to home. Which means we won’t be doing them together.

I have a terrible track record with maintaining friendships. It's not that these people don't reach out—they're always checking up on me. The problem is that I never reciprocate. I don't check up on them( I honestly don’t know why 😭). Eventually, I think they get tired of being the only one pursuing the friendship, and it just fades away.

I feel guilty about this pattern, but I also understand their perspective. If I were constantly reaching out to someone who never initiated contact, I'd probably stop trying too.

Now, facing graduation with only my university friends, and knowing we're all moving to completely different places, I'm terrified the same thing will happen. I'm scared I'll be left completely alone.

What really triggered this spiral was seeing a video on Instagram from one of my seniors. She’s doing her internship now, and she was talking about how her life suddenly revolves around work. Mind you, she was never someone whose life revolved around school — she was outgoing, a content creator, always volunteering or involved in something. But even she is struggling with the adjustment.

She talked about how tired she feels after each shift, how creating content now feels impossible, how planning hangouts with friends is almost impossible because shift schedules don’t align. She said everything she does now revolves around work. And I thought… if this is hard for someone like her, what about me?

All my life has revolved around school, and now I’m walking into this next chapter unsure of who I am outside of that. I don’t have close friends back home. I have old classmates and familiar faces I might say hi to, but not actual friends.

And honestly, I don’t even go out much. I came home for the Eid break and spent over two weeks at home — literally inside the house — and left the gate maybe three times total. I loved being home. But I also realized… I don’t do anything here. I don’t go anywhere. I don’t have anyone to go out with.

Growing up with strict parents who rarely allowed me to go out, going to boarding school for most of my teenage years and having mostly ‘school friends’, seems to have turned me into a chronic introvert. The idea of going outside, meeting people, and making conversation feels dreadful. Even suggesting a solo date feels unrealistic unless I really, really push myself.

I remember my secondary school friends trying to make plans with me during my first and second years of university. But I would always cancel last minute, claiming I didn't have the energy to go out. Eventually, they stopped trying. I don't blame them one bit—I would have done the same thing.

Don't get me wrong—there are aspects of graduation I'm incredibly excited about. I want to get out of this school desperately. I want to stop reading, at least for a while. I know I love learning (I can already see myself pursuing another degree eventually), but right now I'm burnt out, and this school is the cause of that burnout.

But the thought of being alone, of not having anyone to hang out with, of having nothing to do except work—that's the part that scares me about graduating. I don't want my life to revolve around work the way it has revolved around school.

So…

If you have any thoughts or opinions or solutions that you can offer, or if you've gone through the same thing and how you overcame it (if you have), let me know in the comments. And yeah, just share your thoughts.